Something Awful on Call of Cthulhu "Mansions of Madness" - Scenario One (1990)

  • Steve: Since you know so much about Call of Cthulhu I think it is clear I should run the adventure. And you need to come up with a whole group of investigators.
  • Zack: Already done. My main man is Cecil Talbot. He cares for his aging mother at the Talbot mansion and uses her fortune to collect antique firearms, pornographic statuary and forbidden texts.
  • Steve: So basically the same interests as you.
  • Zack: He combines the pencil-thin mustache and affectation of John Waters with the bug-eyes of Steve Buscemi. He is equipped with linen pajamas, a silk Kimono he wears over the pajamas for additional armor, ladies' cigarettes, a 16th century marine flintlock adorned to resemble a devil penis, and an extra large mint julep. He enjoys throwing parties for his friends. He is also an incurable racist.
  • Steve: Dang dude you put way more thought into this than usual.
  • Zack: Cecil's companions are Wanda and Regina Shackleford, spinster sisters with shared interests in phrenology and seances, Pips Codswallop, the famed war aviator of England who was denied his official ace status and spent months in a sanitarium for insisting his fifth kill was against a giant black bat, Sharon Derriere, the bewitching stag film actress best known for The Virgin's Nightdress and her performance in 1922's The Mermaid and the Naughty Octopus, a film she does not remember appearing in which is so perverse the government has burned every copy it can find, and Chang the Celestial, an inscrutable oriental who harbors a dark secret: he is Mexican and just playing along with the racist white people who think he is Chinese.
  1. grindlebone reblogged this from turner-d-century
  2. turner-d-century posted this